In 2018, rather than making resolutions that you may not keep, how about making just one vow to yourself – promise yourself that you will put yourself first, and everyone will benefit! The smallest steps daily add up to the biggest change.
Here are three of my best tips for choosing self-care:
Turn off the technology:
Scrolling through Social Media numerous times a day has become the norm, but it’s time to cut back. Mobiles phones, computers et al, all can cause a huge amount of stress and physical unease in the body if used constantly. If you suffer from burning ears, restlessness and headaches, then cutting down on technology usage will benefit you physically, and disconnecting from the constant stream of information that we are becoming increasingly dependent on will help to restore balance in your mind.
Learn to say ‘No’ and ‘Yes’ and feel comfortable with it.
You are entitled to say ‘No’ whenever you like, and nothing is gained from saying ‘Yes’ to a social commitment if it floods you with a feeling of resentment. Having the right balance of saying ‘Yes’ and saying ‘No’ is the key…saying yes to more things in your life can open you up to more adventure and offer more of the good stuff that you may not have anticipated. The key is to say yes to the things that excite you, intrigue you, scare you a little. Say ‘no’ to things that mentally drain you and do not feel good.
Spend time with nature:
I love being by the sea, it rejuvenates me. Even if you can just spend some time outdoors in the garden or lunch in the park, it’s one of the best ways to relax and de-stress.
If you want to make a big shift with self-care in 2018, Cat Raincock is a woman who has changed her life, from feeling totally overwhelmed, neglected and unhappy, to now living the life she dreamt of as a kid. Cat can help you prioritize yourself and guide you to transform into the best version of you! Here’s what she says:
What’s your story that led you to this work?
I was a new mum, a poor friend, an angry wife, a needy sister, and a dependant daughter. I had no direction and was financially and emotionally reliant. I had failed attempts at a career that I genuinely loved, the only thing that worked out was wonderful husband and my two beautiful kids.
Even then it dawned on me that life was really hard and at times completely overwhelming. Was this it? Was what I had wished for all these years here and yet felt overwhelming? Where is the fairy tale of motherhood? All I feel is overwhelmed and broken. What I learnt was my son was my gift, he bought up all my issues to heal. He signified the start of my unravelling, my daughter confirmed that work on myself needed to be done.
The negative self-talk was crippling me and so was life. It proved to be the greatest decision I have ever made.
I went on a mission to transform myself, my life, my world. After seeking out a life changing therapist, I faced my shadows and learnt about why I was feeling like I did and finally I saw the light. I made the commitment to myself to rewrite my past, visualise my future and each day I took daily action to achieve my goals.
I’m out the other side, always learning, always growing. So grateful for the lessons and proud I am now functioning from my authentic self, living the life I dreamt of as a kid.
What was once a head full of negative, self-loathing talk, where I once had an unhealthy relationship with food and wine, where I was once completely unconscious of my patterns of behaviour have all now been healed. I did this because I learnt that I matter, I deserve it. This is my story, what’s yours? Let me help you rewrite your story and re-route your future.
Why have you chosen the phrase ‘She Matters, and what do you mean by this?
When I first started working in this field I worked with both men and women and got great results, but my passion lay with women, I guess because it is my story and with the transformation that I had, I knew I could empower women to follow the same path. On top of this, I learnt that one of my limiting self-beliefs that I had as a child, and consequently as an adult, was that I didn’t matter. It kept coming up during my period of healing and this core belief was not just mine, it was coming up a lot with my clients. Which lead me on a journey to help make other women realise that in fact they do matter. Women in society are often side-lined and made to feel less than and I think it’s time that we stood up and are counted. This belief naturally leads to feelings of low self-esteem, lack of self-worth and little self-confidence. If we can heal this belief, we can empower ourselves and live to our fullest. It’s my mission to rewrite as many women’s stories as possible, showing them, they matter.
Why do so many of us suffer from low self-esteem?
We all pick up limiting self-beliefs in our early childhood. Children are naturally narcissistic and when they feel unloved, not worthy, not enough, they turn it on themselves and believe it’s because of them and that they aren’t loveable, when in fact it’s simply the parent who is preoccupied, addicted and doesn’t feel enough. We take these beliefs through to adulthood until they are healed with the kind of work that I do.
On top of this, there is a lot of expectation of us in society, women are meant to be successful entrepreneurs, brilliant mums, picture perfect wives and girlfriends, along with a multitude of other expectations and all at the same time. This is an unrealistic expectation, yet we still chase this goal at the detriment to our health. Obviously, we fail at this unachievable goal and then turn on ourselves once again reinforcing that early belief that we aren’t enough. It’s a cycle and it’s time to break it.
What kind of treatments do you offer?
I offer hypnosis along with coaching. Hypnosis unpicks the subconscious and gives the client the answers to their current emotional state i.e. anxious, angry, depressed. The coaching then takes this new-found information and applies it to their daily life so that they can consciously break the patterns.
On top of working with my client’s emotions, I work with reconnecting the mind and body, healing female conditions such as endometriosis, fibroids, painful menstrual cycles, peri menopausal symptoms, irregular bleeding and much more. The hypnosis method is incredibly powerful when it comes to working with the body and so many health conditions can be treated in as little as two sessions.
I also help women with weight management and assist them to change their relationship with food and themselves. This again was something very personal to me and gives me great pleasure to help someone change the way they see and feel about food and exercise.
And finally, one of my favourite parts of my work is when I help women (and men) with fertility issues. There is nothing more rewarding than helping people start or extend their family.
Why is hypnotherapy so effective?
Hypnosis bypasses the critical mind and gets straight to the subconscious which is where we store ALL our memories and feelings, it is like our computer operating system. With hypnosis you get in to the operating system and because we bypass the critical voice, we can access it easily and reprogram it, much like giving yourself an operating system upgrade! This allows us to break old patterns of behaviour, habits, addictions, self-talk as we get right to the root of the short circuit and rewire our mind.
What should we prioritise as resolutions for 2018?
My first suggestion would be ditch the resolutions, they rarely work, and most people set up a list of unrealistic resolutions and then give up half way through January. My biggest tip is to set some goals for the year which are realistic and attainable. Take daily actions in line with your goals and I guarantee you, you will achieve them. You have a year to achieve them rather than a month.
The top of everyone’s priority list must be self-care. This should be everyone’s focus for the year, it leads to good emotional, physical, and spiritual health. In this fast paced world we live in, people allocate little time for their mental health and it’s time we recognise what our minds and bodies need. Self-care is the act of self-love and the sooner we start giving ourselves the love we deserve, the better. It starts with us.