by Frances Ive
Every year over 13 million working days are lost to stress or stress-related illnesses, and it accounts for 70 per cent of visitors to doctors. The credit crunch and recession have made more people stressed as increasing numbers lose their jobs and homes, and worry about how to make ends meet.
Life is full of stress all the time. You can get over one hurdle and be sure that the next one is just around the corner, but because you can’t change events you can only change how you respond to them.
Major life events that cause stress include bereavement, serious illness, divorce, and job loss. Many people find that the more joyful events in life can be stressful too, such as getting married, moving home and having a baby! And that’s not to mention traffic jams, overcrowded trains, or trying desperately to talk to a human being at the bank and having to listen to telephone prompts and ‘soothing’ music.
What is stress?
Stress is often linked to depression, anxiety, anger, grief, frustration, guilt or sadness. It makes you feel as if you can’t cope and that everything is overwhelming you. Signs that you are stressed vary from person to person and are often easier to recognise in someone else. You may cry a lot, feel irritable, feel tired all the time, be depressed, have physical ailments such as stomach problems and headaches, become irrationally angry or avoid people and situations.
It can also cause serious illnesses such as high blood pressure, strokes, nervous breakdown and heart disease in the long term. There are plenty of ailments that can be stress-related such as ulcers, migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, skin rashes and frequent colds.
The big picture
Yoga enthusiasts are most likely aware that active relaxation is one of the best ways of helping yourself to cope with stress. Nevertheless no-one is perfect and even the most balanced person can find it hard to cope when life becomes very difficult.
It makes more sense to arm yourself against stress when you are feeling good, rather than attempting to do so when you are feeling overwhelmed. While healthy eating, exercise, and relaxation techniques are all extremely useful there is plenty we can do about our own behaviour too.
How do you stress yourself out?
There are plenty of behaviour patterns that can make a bad situation worse and they are common to most people.
As humans are such complex characters everyone has reasons for their own idiosyncrasies and behaviour. Anyone who is perpetually making life more difficult for themselves may have issues with self-esteem. Seeing a counsellor or talking to a life coach can be a helpful way forward.
The workaholic - Working long hours is often part of the culture of the organisation you work for, but sometimes it is worth asking yourself a few questions. Who actually makes you work longer hours and why do you do it? Reasons may include fear of failure, a need for perfection, or an obsession with
proving something to yourself or others.
Feeling guilty - How often do you do find yourself doing something that you don’t want to do? If you are looking after young children or an elderly relative you have your work cut out, but if your family is able-bodied there is plenty that they can do for themselves too! Guilt may be tied up with wanting to be needed so the pressure is self-imposed.
Perfectionism – Having to do everything to your own high standards can mean working long hours, forever cleaning the house or redoing things to be sure of getting them right. It might be worth asking the question, ‘Do I really need to do this?’.
Saying no and taking on too much – Many people find it hard to say no to others yet may feel resentful when they have too much to do. Saying no can be done very politely and might make you feel good! If you take on too much it may be because you think you do it better than others.
Making judgements – Everyone carries a rule book in their heads about what they should and should not do, often based on what others (or mothers) have imposed on you. It may be related to doctrine, culture or religion. If it doesn’t serve you well when times are tough, perhaps you could try to let it go.
Procrastinating – Whether it’s in the workplace or at home it is human nature to put off things that you don’t like doing. Some people thrive on working to deadlines but others find it stresses them out. And if a very stressful situation arises you are ill prepared to deal with it.
In the long term there is much that you can do to improve your own lot, so that when you have to encounter serious stress such as illness or the death of someone close you have a better philosophy of life.
Relaxation and Exercise
Regular yoga with pranayama and meditation has a beneficial effect on the psyche and makes you more capable of sorting out your life. It is said that 20 minutes of meditation is equal to a night’s sleep and there is no doubt that it improves concentration and memory and helps you to see things more clearly.
The calmer you are the more your life seems to fall into place naturally. It often takes a while to realise that you have stopped being such a perfectionist or procrastinating, but it becomes a normal way of living.
Exercise of any kind is good for you and at minimum 20 minutes walk is a helpful way to unwind and stay fit. If you are near a park or the countryside spending some time close to nature is good for the soul and incredibly relaxing.
Yoga obviously is great for mind, body and spirit and helps you to create a healthy outlook. T’ai chi and chi kung also provide respite from daily activities and because of the need to focus on specific movements it is incredibly relaxing.
Being good to yourself
Massage, reflexology and other therapies are incredibly relaxing and make you feel nurtured. If you get into the habit of indulging yourself when you life is good, it makes you more ready to have a treatment when you are under stress.
Eating healthily and drinking plenty of water may have become a way of life, but many of us turn to alcohol and poor eating habits when we are faced with stress. If you continue to eat well and not rely on booze or cigarettes in stressful times you do not add to your own problems.
Herbal medicines like Passiflora, Avena Sativa (oats) or Valerian and flower essences such as Bach Flowers Rescue Remedy are very helpful when you are feeling anxious and unable to cope. They do not have the side-effects that can be experienced with anti-depressants but herbal medicine should not be taken at the same time as medication so check with your GP or medical herbalist first.
WHAT TO DO IN A CRISIS
• Walk away
• Breathe deeply
• Be still
• Drink water
• Cry (or laugh)
• Talk
• Avoid decisions
• Take Rescue Remedy
To find a yoga teacher: British Wheel of Yoga, www.bwy.org.uk, 01529 306851
To find t’ai chi classes: Tai Chi Finder, www.taichifinder.co.uk
Frances Ive has written a book entitled Stress - The Essential Guide published by Need-2-Know, £8.99. She also has a health website: www.healthysoul.co.uk
